Sunday, August 17, 2008

SkyDiving

Photobucket Album

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Hannah Montana does voodoo

My four year old has probably seen the Hannah Montana show once in her whole short little life.
{It is possible that she hears about Hannah Montana at preschool.}
We were walking through Wal-Mart this past weekend and all of a sudden I hear this banshee-like wail emit from my shopping cart HANNAH MONTANA!!!!-LOOK GRAMMY-HANNAH MONTANNA-LOOKKKKKKK!!!
I quickly wheeled around and saw some Hannah Montana PJs hanging in the clothing dept. I stood there for a minute stunned. I remember my two oldest going through a Spice Girls phase, and a Back Street Boys phase but they were already tweens.
If she had been screaming about Dora, Elmo, Cinderella, or Jasmine I would have understood. We watch shows featuring those characters regularly. She has NEVER been that excited about Dora etc...

I don't get it. What’s the deal with Hannah Montana and this strange hold she has over little girls?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

big~ol’~whiney~ass~tittie~baby

whine, whined, whin•ing, whines.
v.intr.
1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.
2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.
3. To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining
4. Noise that makes you want to throttle small creature emitting offending noise. (Scar's definition)

My precious, sweet, two year old, baby girl has just started this incessant whining business.
I’ve blamed her sudden horrible behavior on everything, first I said “Well, she’s whining because she misses her pacifier” then I said “Oh she’s just whining because the other kids at Daycare do it.” Now I think I know the real reason ….she’s a big~ol’~whiney~ass~tittie~baby. I thought she was going to drive me crazy this morning before I could drop her off at preschool. I almost got a speeding ticket on the way to school. I slid into the parking lot on two wheels then threw her out before the tires stopped rolling. I was yelling “Free at last, free at last!!” as I screeched out of the school drive way.
I told her this morning…”Stop it or Grammy is going to make national headlines!”
That shut her up for um about .5 seconds.
I don’t know what happened, she was such a good baby.

Short of choking her out nothing I've tried has worked.

I've tried ignoring her when she's whining(You try ignoring a 36 lb of flesh attached to your leg sounding like a fire engine)
I've told her "Use your words" (Now she just whines the words ie Iiiiiiiiiiii wannnnnntttttt milllkkkkkkk)

So if you see me on the evening news...you know why.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

When was the last time you cried over a celebrity’s death?

When was the last time you cried over a celebrity’s death?


I remember the day Elvis died, to be honest I cried as if I had lost a family member. My other wise ass teenybopper friends were incredulous that I was so upset about the “old geezer”. They couldn’t have know the history I had with Elvis, I actually saw him in concert. I had one of his infamous silk scarves tucked away in a cigar box at the top of my closet along with my favorite baby doll that I had long discarded. I had grown up listening to his music and watching his movies to escape the war zone that comprised my childhood.

John Belushi, the reason I was home from partying on Saturdays in time to make curfew, I couldn’t bear the thought of missing SNL.

When John Lennon was murdered I was in shock for three days. I kept repeating over & over “Why?”

When Princess Di died in the car crash I was again shaken. My god, she was MY age. We had gotten married at the same time & had our children on almost the exact same date. How could this be possible?

Poor little Kirk Cobain…what a waste he was just a baby. The legacy he left behind changed a generation. If he was still alive today how much richer the would the world be?

When Indian Larry (Larry Desmed) I once again broke down in tears. He was a hero to both me & my brother. In this day of “Bikers in a Box” he was one of the few geniuine old school bikers

Warren Zevon died right in fornt of us. His last days were documented for all to see.

My list of lost celebrities could go for days, I’ll end with this George Carlin is gone and today I’ll cry.

RIP George and thanks for everything

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sisterhood

I’m going to Myrtle Beach tomorrow with a couple of my girlfriends so I won’t be able to post. After the week I’ve had – I a need a break.
My friend Chris was supposed to be getting married today. I was to be her matron of honor and wedding planner. We had the caterer booked, DJ booked, tents reserved, dresses bought, favors made, and she had paid for her honeymoon. She called off the wedding when she discovered her future hubby had an alarming affinity for porn. After much discussion and many tears she decided that his inability to stay away from the pay4porn sites was something she could not tolerate and she kicked him to the curb.
My friend Kyna just had oral surgery on Monday after discovering her stepdaughter AKA IdiotSelfishBrat is taking Kyna’s one & only beloved grandchild and moving to Atlanta, leaving no forwarding address.
I’ve spent the past seven days in a narcotic induced haze because of the baseball sized fibroid that has invaded my innards, and I’m looking forward to a hysterectomy some time in the next couple of weeks. The three of us are going on a honeymoon and we are going to have a blast! There is something healing in a girlfriend’s love that is too magical to describe. We belong to a sisterhood that has put up with sorry men, idiot offspring, and “female problems” since we crawled out of the primordial ooze. My husband is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle creature who ever drew a breath but when it comes to kids and ovaries…he’s lost. I need to spend time with my sisters and my Creator so my soul & spirit can begin to heal.