Thursday, July 17, 2008

Hannah Montana does voodoo

My four year old has probably seen the Hannah Montana show once in her whole short little life.
{It is possible that she hears about Hannah Montana at preschool.}
We were walking through Wal-Mart this past weekend and all of a sudden I hear this banshee-like wail emit from my shopping cart HANNAH MONTANA!!!!-LOOK GRAMMY-HANNAH MONTANNA-LOOKKKKKKK!!!
I quickly wheeled around and saw some Hannah Montana PJs hanging in the clothing dept. I stood there for a minute stunned. I remember my two oldest going through a Spice Girls phase, and a Back Street Boys phase but they were already tweens.
If she had been screaming about Dora, Elmo, Cinderella, or Jasmine I would have understood. We watch shows featuring those characters regularly. She has NEVER been that excited about Dora etc...

I don't get it. What’s the deal with Hannah Montana and this strange hold she has over little girls?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

big~ol’~whiney~ass~tittie~baby

whine, whined, whin•ing, whines.
v.intr.
1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.
2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.
3. To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining
4. Noise that makes you want to throttle small creature emitting offending noise. (Scar's definition)

My precious, sweet, two year old, baby girl has just started this incessant whining business.
I’ve blamed her sudden horrible behavior on everything, first I said “Well, she’s whining because she misses her pacifier” then I said “Oh she’s just whining because the other kids at Daycare do it.” Now I think I know the real reason ….she’s a big~ol’~whiney~ass~tittie~baby. I thought she was going to drive me crazy this morning before I could drop her off at preschool. I almost got a speeding ticket on the way to school. I slid into the parking lot on two wheels then threw her out before the tires stopped rolling. I was yelling “Free at last, free at last!!” as I screeched out of the school drive way.
I told her this morning…”Stop it or Grammy is going to make national headlines!”
That shut her up for um about .5 seconds.
I don’t know what happened, she was such a good baby.

Short of choking her out nothing I've tried has worked.

I've tried ignoring her when she's whining(You try ignoring a 36 lb of flesh attached to your leg sounding like a fire engine)
I've told her "Use your words" (Now she just whines the words ie Iiiiiiiiiiii wannnnnntttttt milllkkkkkkk)

So if you see me on the evening news...you know why.